So, I have been dealing with a little bit of depression lately. I keep getting to the point where I feel like I can pull myself out, and whenever I do external circumstances pull me back in. Yesterday the sermon at church was about "de-fencing," which is basically letting your fence down in some areas so that people can see that you are imperfect and vulnerable like the rest of the world, which lets your light shine even brighter. Of course I am paraphrasing, and I tend to go in and out of consciousness when I am at church or any other meeting that lasts an hour or longer. So if that was not the message, someone should let me know. So after church, the old gospel song "This little Light of Mine" popped into my head and it stayed there all day (in fact, it is still swimming in there right now). Since I like to paint the songs that arrive in my head, I thought it fitting that I painted this one. I thought about it all day, and decided it would be a painting of an angel holding a candle with flowers for wings. When I was helping Ana learn to ride her bike, I had decided that I wanted to make the painting monochromatic(using mostly one color tone). It started out monochromatic, but as I was painting, I decided that the light needed to really "shine," so I added some orange and yellow to the flame, around the angel's hair, in her halo, and I also added some dancing light beams throughout the painting. I really hadn't thought about using the color blue as being significant until today. I actually used it, because I happen to like blue, it is one of my favorite colors, but as I think about it, the blue represents my overall mood, and the dancing orange and yellow represent my need to radiate from the inside. So now, if everyone would just let me be happy, and appreciate that I really am trying, and that I am not God, but only a child of God, and I am completely and utterly imperfect, but am absolutely adorable just the way I am, not the way they want me to be, then my fire might light a little easier.
P.S. The Angel is no one in particular. Just a random angel that I felt like painting.
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